Dear Mel's Heart,

You've lead Mel wrong too many times. She's followed you blindly, and in return you get the flutters over someone that doesn't deserve a minute of her time. You pitter-patter, she swoons, and next thing you know, the dude turns out to be a creep. I've seen it happen one too many times. I'm not letting it happen anymore. From now on, she listens to me.

Cordially,
Mel's Gut.