Secrets, secrets, are no fun.

I've got a secret. A BIG secret.

You know, the kind that could possibly fuck-up a few people's lives type of secret.

And I can't talk to anyone about it. It's driving me crazy. I need to talk to someone about it.

I tried telling my therapist a few weeks ago, and then I got "the look". The one that says, "Melissa, what the hell are you doing with your life? Could you be anymore of a terrible person?". So I changed my story at the last minute as to avoid the wrath of the woman that I pay to tell my problems to.

I know, I can't believe I did it either. That's exactly what I pay her for! What the hell is wrong with me?

I seriously need help.

So, why don't we just pretend that I told you my nasty little secret. And you guys make me feel better about making a small indescresion and tell me it's going to be ok.

It is going to be ok, isn't it?

Remembering to forget.

It wasn't until about nine o'clock last night that I remembered what day it was.

October 30th. My wedding was three years ago, yesterday.

I'm making some amazing progress.

Listen up.

The amazing, talented, smoking-hot Poppy has moved here. Update your blogrolls and your feeds, people. You don't want to miss a minute of this fine lady :)

The joys of singlehood.

In the relatively short time that I've been out on my own, I've become very independent and self-sufficient. I adore living on my own. My time is exactly that... mine. I don't have to share it with anyone. I live by my own desires, my own schedules. I don't have to answer to anyone. I'm very happy with where I am at in my life right now. And I don't want for that to change.

But sometimes? It really sucks not having someone to help with that hard-to-clasp jewelry in the mornings.

Life was getting too hard to keep up with.

Things have gotten calm and slow here in Oceanland. I'm viewing it as a good thing. All that dating was wearing on me. When it got to the point where I wasn't enjoying myself any longer, I knew it was time for a break. I've got plenty of personal things I'd like to work on before I get back into that scene.

I gave my Mom the good news of my dating break this morning, and her response surprised and offended me. "Let's see how long that lasts". Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom. It's no surprise to anyone that I like, no LOVE men. But really, I need to cut my losses here. Looking for Mr. Right has only gotten me plenty of Mr. Wrongs. I'm going to subscribe to the philosophy that he'll find me when I'm ready. It's taking some getting used to, but overall I know this is the right move for me.

So, right now I'm setting much of my time aside for my family, my friends, and myself. Which makes things seem somewhat boring on the surface, but I'm content on the inside.

I know that I have been somewhat removed from the blogging world recently. Between work blocking the "blogspot.com" addresses, computer issues at home, and the lack real interest in putting my raw emotions out there as I once did, I've withdrawn. I'm back in a place now where I'm starting to return. I've missed all my blog friends tons, and looking forward to "delurking" back at your places soon.

It is official.

After two years, it's finally over.

As of today, I am a free woman. I can't even begin to explain to you how good it feels.

Who's ready to party?



"The happiest time of anyones life is just after the first divorce" -John Kenneth Galbraith

Clearing up some things.

I've gotten a few emails from various people expressing their condolences for another relationship biting the dust.

Let me just say... It wasn't a relationship. I had been dating someone for about a week and quickly learned he was a dick. No big deal.

My heart's not broken, I'm not a bit upset. I'm actually rather grateful that I found this out sooner than later.

And with that said, I'm officially taking a break from dating. My divorce will be final in 2 days, and right now I just want to enjoy being single.

Dear Mel's Heart,

You've lead Mel wrong too many times. She's followed you blindly, and in return you get the flutters over someone that doesn't deserve a minute of her time. You pitter-patter, she swoons, and next thing you know, the dude turns out to be a creep. I've seen it happen one too many times. I'm not letting it happen anymore. From now on, she listens to me.

Cordially,
Mel's Gut.

This is what relaxation looks like.

Photos from my vacation are up here.

Happy.

I got flowers today.
From a boy.

I'm feeling pretty fucking special right now.